"Wonderin why we bother with love, if it never lasts...."

Infatuation is not a real concept.

When people say, "you weren't really in love," or "you're not really in love," they have noo idea what they're talking about. I hear these conversations all the time. And the problem is... no one can ever say that. Sometimes I hear parents say this to their broken hearted daughters. Sometimes I hear girlfriends say it to their love sick best friends.

The thing is, love is an emotion right? And if you feel you love someone, then you do. When someone tells you what they feel, believe them. (This is branching off of Maya Angelou's quote, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them"). Because regardless of whether or not a relationship is bound to last, when people think they're in love, they are. Logic, probability, and time have nothing to do with it. At all. Emotions are beyond irrational.

To the people who feel they know you better than you know yourself...my favorite response to them is: And you just really have no idea .

3 comments:

Jennifer Fabulous said...

Beautiful new blog! :)

And I totally agree with you on this subject. No person, I don't care how well they know you, has the right to say what you are feeling. I hate it when people do this to me. My parents do it occassionally and it really angers me. For instance, I'll say I like a certain food and my dad will laugh and say "no, you don't" Ummm...okay. I can't even imagine if someone tried to tell me when I was really in love or not. Ugh. :S

Great post! I'm glad to see you back blogging. xoxo

Linley said...

I disagree that love is an emotion. I think true love is a verb. The emotions attached to love are not in and of themselves the love. And I guess the phrase "in love" refers to emotional things rather than love how I define it. Calling it "in love" is misleading for how most people mean it.

On the other hand, I absolutely agree that no one else can ever say whether you do or do not love someone. Why people would offer that opinion up baffles me too. I can't really think of a situation where it would be helpful to tell someone they weren't really in love. Because all of the emotions were certainly real and viable to that person, so for most purposes, they were. At least that all made sense in my head! :)

Karina said...

I agree with Linley. I think that love itself is not an emotion. It's a connection, an action, a part of you, like creativity. It's not just something you feel, it's something regardless of how you feel.

I think that "in love" refers to all the feelings of butterflies and sweaty hands and the emotional side of the situation. That's where it gets complicated. People feel love and feel loved, and that is the only way we know it exists. Love, I think, exists independently of our feelings. You can be so angry at someone, but still love them. That being said, you can also be angry at someone and no longer love them. But I feel like, that in the moment you were "in love" but you did not truly love them, because if you did you'd be able to work it out.

Maybe love needs two people to exist then. Or maybe not. Love is deep inside wanting what is best for the other person, even if you're angry at them. So even if they don't love you, you can still love them...

Just my random unedited thoughts. I don't mean this as a challenge, just my own personal writings on love.

I really appreciate your blog by the way. I occasionally read your "Too Haute to Handle" blog, and today I found that you have moved here. I haven't read any of your blogs yet but I fully intend to look them all over. =) Keep up the good work!